you can use my skin to bury secrets in.

i realized very briefly today - i say briefly because my thoughts lately seem to be more and more hyperactive and scattered - anyways, realized briefly that several funny and memorable moments that have occurred on this beautiful campus have involved rollerbladers. and please do not ask me how i came to this realization so randomly because it would force me to admit that i am a mean and hateful person. but yes, rollerbladers. a treat to all. a laugh and delightful joke to some. and well, i guess you could call me some.

theres really no reason for posting. especially at this hour, when i desperately need sleep and rest. i've been somewhat out of sorts lately. a bit sad in parts of the days, and of course with me, the sadness is always unexplainable. there just seems to be an outstanding joke or fascinating inside story that no ones felt the need to let me in on yet.

i'm excited for fall break and for the chance to go home. i miss my family in times like this. and God always seems to provide the chance to see them most when i start acting like a selfish fool. talk about blessings for the poor and weak.
the weekend will be busy with people to see and occasions to attend to - distant "friends" coming from distant lands and a wedding ceremony complete with the whole gang. i look forward to returning to school on saturday, but i will savor the moments until it comes.

break for fall everyone cause autumn is coming fast.

does He ever lose patience at how slow i am to trust Him?

isnt this the human experience? that in one moment everything can be so beautiful and so right. and then one phone call. one conversation. one letter and then all of a sudden theres all this weight. like all of a sudden the soul gets reacquainted with the gravity of a fallen world...the gravity - it seems Jesus walked in some of that.

if you dont have important plans on monday nights
we should have a little chat.
cause dang it, theres some good stuff going on.

another step in the right direction.

i'm sitting in my slightly comfy chair. listening to a light tapping noise coming from the living room that my bedroom door has yet to block out. and frantically trying to upload music onto my computer so as to drown out said tapping. i'm not sure why noises like that, small annoyances that others seem to naturally ignore, bother me so freaking much. its impossible for me to simply block it out.

so this is what being twenty one feels like.

jared asked me - in some words or less - if i felt like my age. i responded by saying that sometimes i feel like i should feel older. you know, with student teaching and being employed. balancing checkbooks and deciding future plans. but i think that i will probably always feel like i'm still twelve years old. scared to death and clueless about life. but then again - and this is something that i've realized in the recent weeks - is it somewhat nice and comforting to know that i do not have to have it all figured out right now, right here. granted i am not left with complete peace and calm. trust in God and his plans for where he wants to lead me is hard to hold onto and sometimes hard to find. but like familiar furniture in a dark room, i know its still there. i'm guessing thats the nice and comforting part.

my birthday weekend was absolutely amazing
thanks to those that made it what it was.
(i'm sure you are aware of who you are)
and pretty much all of your friends combined
couldnt hold a candle to just one of mine.