something i dont quite understand.

okay. so there are many things that i dont understand
but this is one of the few thats been coming up in conversation lately.
just a few general questions that i have.
none directed towards anyone in particular.
and the questions are not meant to be bitter or accusatory.
they're just questions...

so there has been a lot of controversy surrounding the movie and books the golden compass lately. i for one have never read the books or seen movie, although i would like to. the debate is that apparently many in the Christian community are saying that kids at the end of the book series destroy God. well, that just seems like a ridiculous idea. cause if you dont believe in God, how could you destroy someone that doesnt exist. and if you do believe in God, do you honestly think that He could be destroy by little kids? but that is not my main question. the funny thing is, people that i know that have read the books and have seen the movie have actually said that the theme of God destroying is not revealed in either. and that if you were to read or watch either without having this prior knowledge, you would never know. now, thats not to say that the author is not a hardcore atheist, or that he isnt out to destroy the Christian community one childrens book at a time. when it comes to that...i have no idea.

however, my main question for everyone is this: how can we protest a movie centered around a "rumored" impossible idea because our fellow Christians say they think its wrong when we can allow ourselves to watch movies that, for example, are centered around a crazy psycho man walking through texas with a silenced shotgun killing about 16 people all because of money? now that just seems ludicrous. and its what i just dont understand.

a question to ponder.

do you think
that a person's thoughts and actions
are directly related to their
outward uncleanliness and impurity?

and...
how to become clean again?

p.s another question to discuss...
who thinks i have a good chance
of tripping at graduation?

o bless me Lord
and make me righteous too
awaken what you have for me in you.

who knew i could actually update my blog? oh my.

so i havent exactly lived up to my promise. here or at my other blog (the teacher one). considering the fact that i havent updated once during the whole semester proves that i'm just a big fat liar. and really busy. but school has stopped now and i'm wrapping things up here in rock hill and unraveling them in summerville and while things are crazier now than perhaps they have ever been, i am more flexible and free with my time which is nice.

so let me catch you up...
it was my original intention to graduate, live here, work wherever i could for the spring semester, start teaching in the fall in some really great school in the rock hill/fort mill area. that turned into finally accepting the fact that moving back home once i graduate is a far more practical idea than struggling to make ends meet here on my own. and my aunt had convinced me that going straight from my internship to a teaching position with full benefits and pay would be the best decision so i was planning to start applying with the surrounding districts in mid-october. then i got to mid-october. realized that maybe i dont want to teach right away or at all in the near future and unconsciously decided to procrastinate on that whole applying for a job thing. so now here i am...approximately one week away from graduating with a bachelors degree in biology and secondary education and planning to move back home with no real prospect of a job in the future and no money to sustain my addictions to things such as starbucks and music. (man i need to learn how to budget.) and while my expectations are low in the moving home department, deep down i know it is the best decision for me now. not just financially but also emotionally. cause if i havent learned anything else in my last week of relaxation and leisure, i've realized this...if i'm not going to winthrop, there is nothing for me here. not that there is much for me in summerville, but it is time for a slight change. and it isnt that i dont love the friends - new and old - that i have here. its just that they're all still holding on to their ties and mine have let me go.

so i'm leaving at the end of the month.
praying for a job to come soon. at this point i'm applying for jobs relating to the medical field. pretty much anything i can get my hands on that is full time and offers some sort of benefits. i've applied for jobs like a medical records clerk or research assistant or lab assistant or operating room secretary or medical transcriptionist. i mean, with a degree in biology i should be able to find something, right!! the problem is with medical lab techs, which would be perfect right now, you have to have a certification and experience, which i dont, and most people are looking to hire a permanent employee, while i'm hoping to be out of summerville in 6-8 months. who knows where i'm going to be after that. just anywhere but there.

in the meantime (between now and a job at home) i'm celebrating christmas, decorating, running errands like picking up medallions for my graduation cap or changing where my mail goes once i'm gone, applying for insurance -which is really confusing, organizing and packing, wrapping gifts, working, reading for pleasure, and everything else that i can get my hands on that needs to be taken care of before i leave this place that i've called my home for the past 4 and a half years. pretty saddening.

hopefully i can post more than once every 5 years,
but in case i dont...merry christmas and happy new year!

p.s. do check the teacher blog cause i plan to post several times in the near future regarding the thought processes that have occurred over the course of the past semester. especially that whole "i love teaching thing" becoming the whole "maybe i should rethink this thing." oh, the anticipation!