you can use my skin to bury secrets in.

i realized very briefly today - i say briefly because my thoughts lately seem to be more and more hyperactive and scattered - anyways, realized briefly that several funny and memorable moments that have occurred on this beautiful campus have involved rollerbladers. and please do not ask me how i came to this realization so randomly because it would force me to admit that i am a mean and hateful person. but yes, rollerbladers. a treat to all. a laugh and delightful joke to some. and well, i guess you could call me some.

theres really no reason for posting. especially at this hour, when i desperately need sleep and rest. i've been somewhat out of sorts lately. a bit sad in parts of the days, and of course with me, the sadness is always unexplainable. there just seems to be an outstanding joke or fascinating inside story that no ones felt the need to let me in on yet.

i'm excited for fall break and for the chance to go home. i miss my family in times like this. and God always seems to provide the chance to see them most when i start acting like a selfish fool. talk about blessings for the poor and weak.
the weekend will be busy with people to see and occasions to attend to - distant "friends" coming from distant lands and a wedding ceremony complete with the whole gang. i look forward to returning to school on saturday, but i will savor the moments until it comes.

break for fall everyone cause autumn is coming fast.

does He ever lose patience at how slow i am to trust Him?

isnt this the human experience? that in one moment everything can be so beautiful and so right. and then one phone call. one conversation. one letter and then all of a sudden theres all this weight. like all of a sudden the soul gets reacquainted with the gravity of a fallen world...the gravity - it seems Jesus walked in some of that.

if you dont have important plans on monday nights
we should have a little chat.
cause dang it, theres some good stuff going on.

another step in the right direction.

i'm sitting in my slightly comfy chair. listening to a light tapping noise coming from the living room that my bedroom door has yet to block out. and frantically trying to upload music onto my computer so as to drown out said tapping. i'm not sure why noises like that, small annoyances that others seem to naturally ignore, bother me so freaking much. its impossible for me to simply block it out.

so this is what being twenty one feels like.

jared asked me - in some words or less - if i felt like my age. i responded by saying that sometimes i feel like i should feel older. you know, with student teaching and being employed. balancing checkbooks and deciding future plans. but i think that i will probably always feel like i'm still twelve years old. scared to death and clueless about life. but then again - and this is something that i've realized in the recent weeks - is it somewhat nice and comforting to know that i do not have to have it all figured out right now, right here. granted i am not left with complete peace and calm. trust in God and his plans for where he wants to lead me is hard to hold onto and sometimes hard to find. but like familiar furniture in a dark room, i know its still there. i'm guessing thats the nice and comforting part.

my birthday weekend was absolutely amazing
thanks to those that made it what it was.
(i'm sure you are aware of who you are)
and pretty much all of your friends combined
couldnt hold a candle to just one of mine.

the morning enlightenment.

for my readers out there (jared and rique), i would like to share some special moments in the friendship of me and ria. moments that warm up my heart and bring a tear of laughter to my eye. one of these moments in particular occurred this morning on our long journey across the gravel to the world of science. better know as life sciences building. not so much a world, but instead a building. anyways. we saw lydia, a personal favorite, and ria noticed her rocking shoes. well, we all know how ria gets sometimes. the english major comes out and shes suddenly all contemplative. asking deep questions like "so if the 80s have come back in style, then does that mean that the 90s are coming back around too? are we going to be grunge again?" of course i respond smartly. its just my nature. "do what?" ria: "are people going to start wearing flannel shirts?" cori: "luke still wears flannel shirts." ria: "but luke is a mountain man. PAUSE. is like nirvana going to come back?" cori: "first of all nirvana cant come back. kurt killed himself and dave found a new band."

a little runaway kid has just passed me in dacus
laughing like a crazy mad man. anyways, back to the show.

cori: "besides, we havent really gone back to the 80s. guys today are wearing boat shoes like 60 year old men, and girls are wearing pearls like 85 year old women." ria: "so we've gone back to the 50s and the 80s. the 60s and the 90s are next. what a weird combination." cori: "not really to me. they pretty much all didnt bathe."

the end.

by the way, i'm going to be attempting to maybe sometime follow the advice of my education professor and see about setting up a new teacher blog. currently thinking about the title and pondering the content, so we'll see how it goes. but nonetheless, look for it in the link column. farewell.

another autumn.

i like drinking water out of teacups.
it stays colder longer that way.
i like watching birds migrate south for winter
in huge flocks from a tinted window.
i like pumpkin spice lattes
with layers of whipped cream
and pumpkin shaped cookies to compliment.
i like a musical background
that fits any activity.
i like having ria within a voices reach,
along with wearing front-pocketed hoodies.
i like the idea of fall,
the hope of leaves,
and the promise a good, strong cold
just around the corner.

is it your way or the highway?

do not mourn for pluto.
or leave out his part when you talk about
the pizzas your mom is going to serve you.
do it in rememberance of him.
i promise he'll be okay.
he's strong.
he'll make it.

saying goodbye to 1074 dorchester was pretty rough. i mean, on top of the pluto thing - the fact that all of my previous science learning has been a lie - it was just a little too much to handle. jake page left too. hard as well my friends. but good times are still to come. and jake page, along with pluto, knows how to have a good time.

and thats the way i like it.

"and theres no blame for how our love did slowly fade
and now that its gone
its like it wasnt there at all
and here i rest where disappointment and regret
collide. lying awake at night. all night"

i could shoot samuel l. jackson
for making a movie entirely about snakes on a plane.
and i wouldnt feel bad about it either.
only in the leg or something though.
so as to warn him about future projects
that are ridiculous.

he should make geico commercials instead.
now those are entertaining.

currently:
have ben lee's catch my disease stuck in my head
"and thats the way i like it";
laughing inside about the geico commercial
with little richie screaming about cranberry sauce;
and freaking excited and ready out of my mind
to go back to school.
i dont really care if you call me a freak.
i meant it. go ahead.

almost but not quite.

check it...
i've posted some of my own personal
videos on youtube.
not because i'm desiring to join the clan ,
much like those belonging to myspace
(i'm not a fan)
but because i want everyone,
mainly other friends,
to be able to enjoy the moments
as much as i do.

so check out the website

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=serenacorine

and post comments,
reply with other videos,
or just let me know what you think.
i know i wont be like top rated or most viewed
but its still nice to be able
to put it on out there.
word.

the hairs gone. time for a show.

so i think i was attacked by a lizard the other day.
think being the key word.
needless to say, i screamed.
slammed the door.
and hyperventilated until the fear subsided.
so what...i'm a pansy.

and that begins my end of the summer report. only about a week left before i head back to winthrop and i couldnt be more ready. i have to physically stop myself from starting to pack. which i might add is easier than it looks considering how lazy i've become. i really think i have watched more tv in the past three months than i have in the last three years. its that darn tivo. i'm just straight up addicted.

it has been weird being back this summer. at least weirder than past return summers. its like my memory of this town and high school has been personified and is now chasing me down the street. i had to observe the other day at the same high school in which i graduated as a requirement for winthrop. see by the time i get back to york county, school will have already begun and apparently the first day of a new year is kinda a big deal so they suggested i observe. so i sat in a classroom all day listening to the same stuff i heard four years ago. i chatted and ate lunch with old teachers while they complained about budget cuts and new equipment complete with words like "bitch" and "damn." i'm telling you, it was a surreal experience. and then to top it all off, i finished the day by listening to new found glory with windows down while me and my brother waited in traffic trying to get home. oh yeah, punk music has been a way of bringing back old times this summer and i'm seriously in desperate need of a good show.

speaking of all the teaching stuff...i'm getting tired of people looking at me like i'm crazy when i say i want to teach high school. especially if the people doing the looking are teachers themselves. they are one step away from telling me to turn and run, run for my life, in the opposite direction. well why the heck are they still doing it? honestly, if its so bad, there shouldnt be a blessed teacher in the world but still they carry on. i understand its all the other crap...the adminstration, the parents, the policies, the school board that sucks...that takes away the fun. but the kids must be worth it. i sure do hope so. cause it what i want to do. i want to teach and i want to love it and i want to not complain about it when some poor student has the same dream. too much to ask?

things have been quite pleasant in other areas. the main being that i've been watching the x games. I LOVE THE X GAMES! the bmx, the motox, the skateboarding. its all so fantastic, every last second. every trick, every fall. man those are good times. bmx was probably my favorite. dave mirra lacerated his liver so he didnt compete at all, poor dude, but those other guys were awesome they way they did the tailwhips and the flares and all that stuff. then i saw shaun white attempt a 1080 like a gold metal in the winter olympics just wasnt enough. and then freaking travis pastrana with his three freaking gold metals. he got one for doing a double backflip. on a dirt bike. yeah. i watched it with my mom and dad and when he jumped my dad was like whoa. it was amazing. then in freestyle he did this trick that he invented called the lazy boy in which he lays horizontal on the dirt bike while in mid air and upside down. thats right, the wheels are towards the sky and he, my friend, is face to the ground with his legs around the handle bars. its absolutely unbelievable and well it obviously brings a smile to my face. so again with the needless to say, but the xgames on dvd would certainly be a suitable christmas present.

well tomorrow me and my family are heading down to savannah to celebrate my dads birthday. then begins my final week of work here, the packing, and the last moments of good ole fashioned rest. better enjoy while i can. i see gray skies and sleepless nights ahead.

happy 4th of july.
and happy birthday rique.
may God bless you both.
rique and the month of july,
by the way.

dont wait to let your armor down.

so heres the deal. i dont understand why. i certainly cant explain it to myself or anyone else for that matter. this stuff's been flying at me from all directions lately. creeping into my thoughts, my tv, my reading material, my journal. you know all that stuff i spend my time consumed with. and its so overwhelming. what do i do with it? is this a sign of something more for me. are there things i want for my future, for my present, that i'm suppose to risk, or sacrifice? is God trying to tell me something?

this is it. a big news flash, for all those blessed...people are dying.

last week, i was flipping channels somewhere around 10:30. and i admit i've slipped on my CNN watching. gilmore girls brings more entertainment for the time being, and seriousness isnt my objective anymore. but somehow i landed on anderson cooper, a guy i've come to highly respect lately, and he was interviewing angelina jolie, a woman i also respect no matter what brads done, on his show - anderson cooper 360. apparently angelina is very much the activist of our days, and shes fighting - having babies at the same time i might add - to help, really help people in africa. so i started thinking of course, and i thought what can i do? you know, i'm 20 years old, sitting on my living room floor and eating cookies and milk. i'm currently under funded and books are going to have to bought soon. how could i possibly help? would my 10 dollars a month possibly help millions of displaced people? or could i give more? but how much is enough? and would i ever risk everything to go to africa? to stand in say congo, among the fighting, and actually be able to help someone? needless to say, i doubted myself. but it hit me...the easiest thing to do is simply pray for them. for God to continue to bless them. yes, money can buy vaccines and medicine for the untreatable illnesses. or food for famished areas. or even fix the world. but honestly, the world doesnt need more money. money got us into this mess. i believe we can fix this world with faith in a higher being, with pray for others, with knowledge of the situation and the other side, with respect despite judgement, with love for neighbors as well as enemies.

so i'm gonna make a list. a prayer list, i guess. for you readers to look at, ponder on, carry around, pray about, consider, and feel the importance of. and i know it's
long, but we dont exactly have to cover all the bases. just the basics.

*displaced people and refugees (half of the world's refugees are from the countries afghanistan, iraq, colombia, sudan, somalia - 160 nations total, 15 million people)
*rape victims in congo. children caught in the civil war. soldiers and their families. i read an article in time magazine this morning on the congo and it said that 1250 congolese die everyday from war-related causes. they suffer from bad sanitation, disease, malnutrition, and dislocation, and all because of war. they say its worse than WWII. and most of the victims are innocent children caught in the conflicts of adults. and what is so amazing is that they have such high spirits. women raped for days by government officals still feel as though their enemies can never break their spirits no matter what they do to their bodies. and those families touched by tragedy are still struggling for survival. pray it'll come.
*genocide victims in darfur, africa. suffering from the same thing that happened in rwanda, and that is happening throughout the world. people killed for being who they are. for those doing the attacking, for their ignorance and their prejudice to be destroyed. also, the food supply in darfur.
*children in cambodia who have been taken into the world of human trafficking. this isnt the only country by far, but one of the worst. small girls and boys sold by their families into a life of shame, losing their innocence and gaining nothing.
*aids (and other diseases) victims in rwanda, many of which are children, as well as throughout africa. for the medical teams treating these patients, and for those working to find a cure.
*for tsunami, katrina, and pakistan earthquake victims struggling to rebuild their lives. that they'll see the light at the end of the tunnel and feel blessed in more ways than one.
*for the war we're currently in. for both sides of the fighting. for the people of iraq caught in the war we started. the war we dont face daily but they do. for our adminstration and they priorities, no matter what decisions they make. for the alleged "terrorists" defending what they believe to be honorable in the only way they know how.

mainly...just for peace.calm.joy.faith.love.hope.mercy.compassion.

so i wanna hear what you think. i'm listening.
p.s. check out these photoessays on time.com
http://www.time.com/time/photoessays/2006/congo_audio/

fight the battle of who could care less.

theres been a desire to cry today
never know as to why
just as to how
driving in the car through town
with music to set the mood
and the window down to feel the breeze
or a romantic movie to distract my thoughts
excusing my tears for meaninglessness
or high emotions.
theres no being complete anymore
but instead a lacking in joy
feeling the true weight of a good sorrow
no bread crumbs left for my mind
in order to find its way back
except that knowing the truth is hard.
i'm just too far gone.

i was joking around with my brother
using short/smart comments
to annoy him when he was in the middle of
explaining something and
defending himself to me
and i just had to say your mom
(my trademark...that and your face)
and well, my brother
the intelligent one he is
said...cori we have the same mom.
duh.
right you are wesley.
(or at least thats what you think)

another night in the neighborhood.

you know. there are moments when i really, really enjoy being home. tonight consisted of several of those moments. me and my family went to dinner and were honored to have my aunt and uncle come along with. (these are the two from scotland). we went to ruby tuesdays where i stuffed myself while talking with my uncle steve. i love to chat with him. we talked about c.s. lewis and the chronicles of narnia (cause i had brought the horse and his boy along for some reading in case things got boring) and he proceeded to tell me that lewis and tolkien had been best buds in college. then we talked about the future and thoughts i've been having lately (like i'm gonna have to get a new drivers license wherever i end up...who thinks like that?) and what was so cool was how excited he was. while my parents are a but nervous cause they arent such where i will end up or how far away it will be, my uncle is absolutely excited to see what will happen in the years to come. thats enough to bring a smile to my face. then we talked about the bush-blair press conference and i asked him questions (cause he's originally from britain) about how the british view americans and our need to somewhat save the world. he brought it to my attention that what most americans get wrong in their thinking is that we believe that us and the british are so alike. because we speak the same language and we have the same foundations. but the american way of thinking and the european way of thinking are two different ways of thinking. neither is right or wrong. they are just different.
well after dinner we all watched lion/witch/wardrobe at my house. to me, the movie is absolutely magical. i think my family liked it (their very first viewing). my dad was quick on the future predictions. my mom was reminded of the lion king whenever aslan came into the picture and from there on she proceeded to call him mufasa for the remainder of the movie. she also referred to the land as nardia. oh mom. bethany, a cousin, said she thought lucy was annoying (mainly the way she says mr. tumnus) but i disagree. lucy is by far my absolute favorite. it was an enjoyable evening none the less and was made complete with the uncle's second time joke usage of the clever play on words "ja-making me crazy." what can i say? you gotta love the british.

currently:
reading the horse and his boy
plus eat, pray, love by elizabeth gilbert;
on the way out the door
heading to work;
excited about seeing ria
and spend the weekend with her.
nothing like a visiting friend.

law and order
and all its little subunits
have taken over television as we know it.

its a totally different ball game these days.

you know i realized, mainly when i looked at the picture of me holding veronica, that i'm old. so i know i'm not physically old. i cant even legally drink yet. but i feel old sometimes. like that geri whos so out of date. completely uncool and untrendy. every now and then when i'm bored i get hooked on facebook. and i take a peek at all the pictures and profiles of old friends. people from high school and my old church. and compared to them i feel so old. they are dating and partying and looking trendy. and i'm sitting at home with my brother thinking that i need to get my clothes ready for work tomorrow. my friends (those i felt somewhat relieved to be getting away from for a short while but now i miss desperately) are not out partying or drinking. they're graduating and traveling to far off places and getting married and finding real jobs and thinking about the future and having babies. and the thing is we have fun. i seriously have never laughed as much as i have as when i'm with them. but its just a completely different lifestyle from what i use to lead. these days instead of complaining about having to do the dishes and not getting enough allowance, i'm worrying about how to pay for summer tuition and finding myself cleaning up around the house just to help my mom. i'm certainly not cool anymore. i'd rather get a new pair of glasses and read a good book than buy a miniskirt. i mean i went to look for sunglasses cause the pair i bought at walmart 3 years ago have officially been broken for 2 months now and i'm in need of new ones, but everything they sell these days makes me look like a bug. how am i suppose to compete? and i have plans! for the future. these incredible plans that i cant stop thinking about and planning and wondering what i'm gonna do in order to prevent myself from getting stuck here or in rock hill. thats the life i dont really want. and on top of it all...i'm trying to teach myself sign language. sign language! i dont even know what for.

i guess i just realized that
somewhere along the way
i grew up
and i thought you should know.

for an update.

i'm home.
enjoying it completely.
like i told ria on the phone,
i feel lazy. as though i'm relaxing too much.
but once work and summer school starts
i wont really get a break
so as of now
i dont feel bad about being a couch potato.
the brothers driving me crazy though.
hes definitely OCD
and things about that i'm not able to understand
so i get frustrated and irritated easily.
but i pray for his release.
got a new pic site up and running.
check it out in the new photos column
to the right.
i decided that facebook
wasnt exactly the best place to post
the images i really like.
plus they arent really up to facebook par.
there are no drunken faces.
only problem flickr is limited.
so not as many to choose from.
still enjoy.

gonna get back to the currentlys...
currently...
listening to: nothing
cause i have no money to buy a new cd.
but i desperately want beth orton
or neko case
or jenny lewis.
or any of the above would do.
reading: the dogs of babel by carolyn someone.
a recommend from kristin.
finished the first narnia book in a day.
lion/witch/wardrobe to follow soon.
watching: movies from the library
and every season finale under the sun.
bad part is i never watched during the year.
so catching up is hard to do.

i dont like talking on the phone.
so no offense when i dont pick up
but messages are lovely.
and i dont mind to listen.
someone call me.

just for the record.

i ask of you please...
just no one ask how my organic final went.
while it wasnt exactly horrible
it was bad enough
to the point where i just gave up
and prayed for God to rain down
a bottle of aspirin.
but the point is i'm done.
no more of that madness
and i would rather just enjoy the feeling
of it being over
rather than wrestle in my mind
over whether i made a B or C for the semester.
so please, let this be explanation enough
and i'll find a way to deal with the grade
when it finally comes.

He will make all things new.

last night was nothing but an overflowing of love and uplifting. and i only have to thank the Father for that. a beautiful image of destruction. a mighty tool, a sledgehammer if you will, sent on a mission to take every dark and evil thing apart. rip every sinful place of my heart into the smallest and most indescribable pieces and then blow them all away. powerful winds coming though just to clean it all up. to get rid of all the dirt. and i am left empty. but immediately new construction begins. a building up of walls and structures and trust. hope and mercy placed into every brick. and the white walls. you cant imagine walls that white. a place, a location with an outpouring of light that can only be equal to its outpouring of love. and each room is something new. a new fruit, a different way to serve and worship, another aspect of the Father. haha and you think that's cool? no matter where i go, there he is. every room...he's there. just chilling, hanging out in the deepest places of my heart. basking in his work. in his glory. in the new construction he has made in me. but you wanna know what i realize the more and more i look at him, the more and more i spend time with him and get to know him? i remember him. he's been there all along. before the white walls and the new bricks and the peace and the calm. he was there among the rubble, among the destruction, among the darkness. of course he was covered in light (duh) but he even there, in those conditons, he chose to chill with me. the only difference then, was i chose to cover him up.

note: correction.

it was brought to my attention
by an english major
that my last entry was slightly misleading...

i am freaking awesome
and i am going to the show.
that is all.

(thanks jared:)