excuse me while i kiss the sky.

a little early i know,
but petunia the pumpkin
would like to wish you a happy halloweenie!




















in other news...
got an 84 on my organic chemistry test (thats an A in that class)
and a 98 on my english midterm. those were nice surprises.
currently listening to the new straylight run ep.
and missing christopher aaron neece's face. and piercings.
and desperately desiring to go to a show sometime before i die.
other than that, just studying and wishing it was xmas break.
or at least the weekend. (yah for birthday fun!
*wink wink* you know who you are;)

another one of those...

i really hate the way i am sometimes. how emotional and bitter i can get about things. how those feelings completely change my actions towards people and how they inevitably cause me to treat people like crap when all i wanna do is be cool and hang out with them. this week had to be the roughest week of college so far. by far. i certainly had a few emotional breakdowns mixed with panic attacks this week (one of which was at home - yes i went home this week - so that was bad because its impossible to hold anything back with my mom and so good because the way she understands and makes everything better is truly amazing) and i know i certainly have no right to complain because i did make it through perfectly fine. everything got done and tests were passed (as far as i know) so nothing to worry about now. the burden has been lifted. but during...man, that was hard. and i just wanted to apologize to people, generally, for being a jerk, cause i dont have the guts to say it to their faces. to apologize for being hateful and rude and bitter. i hope all of you know me well enough to know that i dont mean it and i really love you.

i also love fall out boy and the way it makes me feel when i dance and sing to it. the definitely contributed to my second wind last night. yeah man. and those organic reactions on my room mirrors are killer. i cant really even see myself for all the Cs and Hs and little dots and arrows. i'm such a nerd. the room is still messy and i bought pumpkins to carve so those things will be taken care of this weekend. besides a flea market trip and a hair cut thats about it for my fall break. i'm gonna love every lazy second.

p.s. how is it possible that fall gets better and better every year? makes me wanna go hiking with the cool air or jump in a giant pile of orange leaves. who wants to rake em up for me?:)

maggie carnes says
that the way in which i write papers
is a sign of genius.
i say
that i would rather die
than be married, or even engaged
for that matter,
and still eating at dinkins.

i also say
that i wish God had made today
just a little bit gloomier.
with just a few more dark clouds.
and that
you wish i was being sarcastic.

plus
i would like to express the fact
that i am glad
that i can finally be gloomy
without all the unnecessary comments.

and no jared,
this isnt poetry.

how did i get here?

i'm not saying that i dont love car time. i see it as a good opportunity to listen to good music while i'm free to sing as loud as i want. but i just traveled 2 and a half hours (and the same amount going back tomorrow) on one of the busiest weeks of the semester, to spend five minutes at my orthrodontist appointment. he said "everything ok, retainers doing good?" i said "yep." he said "see ya in 3 months." i said "gas money, please?" yeah, that was pretty much the gist of it. except that last part, of course. i was just thinking out loud.

which poses a question that i asked rique the other night at rack room. what if all the thoughts you had in your head - like things you forgot or things you had to do or under the breath comments you make - that actually came out - you know, like when you cant understand someone and you say "huh?" and they say "oh, i was just thinking out loud." yeah, those thoughts/comments. what if when they are out loud, they are really out loud? like screaming em. you would never have to say "huh?" again or hear "oh, i was just thinking out loud" again. yeah, the other guy would be pretty embarassed, but you sure would have the upper hand.

anyways, i got prince of wales tea from world market today, so i guess that was well worth the trip here. got to be the best tea EVER. sad that i couldnt find anything else. there were lots of cool baskets, but since i'm not cleaning my room anymore, that seemed pointless. they have the best coffee mugs, and seeing as how my apartment is lacking in that department:) you'd think i'd get another one, but i decided against. and i want a little tea kettle more than anything, but not having a stove makes it a waste. so i just ended up settling with the prince of wales *sigh* story of my life.

wait a minute.

i also wanted to share a quick pic from my birthday lunch with friends and family. hopefully, in time, all pictures will be put somewhere, but until then...

check out these hot ladies!

sand is overrated. its just tiny little rocks.

for anyone that knows me, or has seen my room in the past, they could easily have classified me as a neat freak. someone that puts things away and cleans up and generally has order among their things. not anymore my friends. i'm working towards a less controlling, more unorganized cori. so far...success. even ria got wide eyed when she visited my door tonight. that means score in my book. my desk is hardly recognizable. laundry (clean, that is) is piled up by my feet. and textbooks line the floor. i'm only missing a dirty plate with moldy food stuck to it, and thats just cause we have an ant problem. why, you may ask, has this change occurred? its not that i dont wanna care anymore. but its kinda that i dont wanna care anymore. what difference will it make on my day if my room is clean and my laundry is put away? honestly guys. and those to-do lists, the ones i thought were helping me to get things accomplished. good bye to that for real. i use to write it all out on the mirror in my room. and every night as i laid down to sleep i would see it in the reflection and the idea of it all would haunt my dreams. no more no more. rather than help me, i'm beginning to realize that they just added to my stress that was already present from the original work. and then i would have things unmarked and they would just sit there, looming over my head. so i gave up. and honestly, things are better. i'm more productive and it just seems so much better when i sit down to do something and i'm like "i'm gonna get as much done as i can in this time and thats it" instead of placing this impossible goal in front of me. it just feels so much better. like breathing easier. and sorry to all of you who just read that. it was really just for my own personal benefit.

in other random daily news...
i made an A on my english 200 in class essay. um yeah. granted it is a freshmen course and i am a junior, but that was the first in class essay i have written since high school, and i wrote it on my birthday, which means the focus wasnt really there. but still, i got a "good ideas, well written" and in melanie terms, that means way to be cori.
i ran into cool friends on the sidewalk today. man, i love when that happens. especially with that stephen kid. i mean, that guy just oozes cool.
i revisited eternal sunshine and the spotless mind. and realized why i love it all over again.
while doing laundry today i came across several dish towels and bath towels that i noticed werent mine. i had already washed them but curiousity struck me and i just had to ask. got nos from ria and tasha, and jokingly i suggested it was melanie and wouldnt it be funny if she had randomly stuck her bra in there too. so just out of sheer humor i ask melanie today if she put those random towels in my clothes basket. thinking she would laugh in my face, i was surprised when she said yeah. turns out she didnt know who they belonged to, so into my basket they went. well thats all fine and dandy, but i think as a little payback i might stick a couple pairs of my underwear in her basket next week. ya know, add a little spice to her laundry day. hahaha. as jared would say...thats great (awkward silence)
speaking of jared...i was suppose to do secret mission with the guys, it being wednesday and all. but he called really late so thats probably best anyways. i'm not saying they wouldnt want me there, but itd be kinda weird. just being a girl and intruding on that "we're boys, lets make up a secret mission club and build a treehouse, no girls allowed" thing. plus i'd only be over there like 10 minutes and then i'd leave and that would seem kinda pointless. i should probably just resign knightriders name and just let her live on as this really cool chick in my mind. yeah.

currently:
reading captivating by john and stasi eldredge, man that thing is opening my eyes to all those little annoying habits of mine;
listening to one of my six new cds - gold=ryan adams, plans=death cab, glow=innocence mission, the ditty bops, from under the cork tree=fall out boy, and strange/beautiful=aqualung. its like a brand new cd collection in the course of a weekend, gotta love that;
feeling like there arent enough what if questions out there in the world. i think i might start a what if section on every update i post for the masses (rique and jared) to sit and ponder over.

by the way...i wanna cut my hair and dye it red again. any thoughts?

i will follow you into the dark.

a different quote for a different day...
"yemen is the way to calvary"

you can blame that one on melanie, death cab, and cinnamon toast crunch.

p.s. rias back. my heart is warm again.

a walking contradiction

the bird crap on my car window makes me sad.
funny how i keep forgetting to wipe it off.

i've got nothing to do today but smile.

i slept on the couch last night because kristin was in my bed:) (i love it when she comes to visit) normally no one would be getting up in my apartment until about 8 am when me and mel have to get ready for class. but surprisingly, i heard someone in the barthroom at 7:14. i quickly disregarded it as a full bladder and continued my sleeping. then i was awoken again by noise in the kitchen. i turn to discover the disruption, hear mel whisper "you arent suppose to wake up yet" and see rique standing there with a bowl and a wooden spoon. ok random. i'm then told people are waiting outside, and the first thing that pops into my head is - i still have my retainers in. ewww gross. the guys appear and i realize they have come to make me breakfast. i want to hug them and then brush my teeth. or vice versa. anyways, we ate pancakes from upstairs, eggs from downstairs, and a muffin cake which jake guarded with his life. all in all, it was the best birthday breakfast/surprise/celebration that i could ever have asked for and all i can say is i have better friends than i deserve and i really love each and every one of you guys. high fives all around. now lets eat a scooby doo push pop.

p.s. i decided that since it was my birthday, it was ok to steal a cup full of good sweet tea from thomson. so i did amen.

quote of the day...

"i'm an eagle scout. that makes me the equivalency of a jedi knight"

oh man, gotta love that curly-haired stephen crotts.

by the way...thanks stephen:)
"animal bone marrow" is offically the song of the day.

please forgive me.

so yeah, disregard every last word that last update said.
i watched a video this afternoon of a shrimp
running on a treadmill. under water.
it doesnt get any more random,
or any better, than that.

that charlie...he's such a horse.

you know what i love?
even more than ice cream and mixed tapes?
random days beginning with random mornings
and filled with all things random.
random realizations and thoughts,
random surprises and running into cool friends,
moments of both relaxation and weirdness.
i love it all and it makes my day all the more better.

well, this morning had to have been one of the most random so far.
first of all, as the title would suggest,
i got a stupid freaking charlie horse this morning
at like 6 am, while i was half asleep.
thats gotta be the best time to get one. hands down.
and although the pain was intense, it still provided a good laugh
while limping around melanie this morning.
next, ria left. for phoenix. on a wednesday.
and plus it was all sleepy hollow like outside.
that mist was killer.
i learned in history that the chinese (you know, back in the day)
gained power and a high social status
depending on the number of heads they severed.
yum, thats a nice mental image after breakfast.
i guess i would have been the equivalency of a cockroach to them.
in organic, i realized that - although i personally dont curse
(i use to, and like a sailor too,
but dont really see the need anymore, unless i stub my toe)
and i dont necessary condone overexcessive cursing -
theres just something about the way my o chem professor says damn.
i think the way in which he uses (mostly while referring to pi bonds)
the word just makes him so cool.
plus hes dreamy.
and shortly after that realization, we heard a car horn.
a big, blaring car horn in the middle of taking notes.
then, the english essay that i spent an hour preparing for last night
was canceled.
so i decided to spend that time being productive.
and i ate a chicken wrap and read the paper.

but despite all of that, my mornings will never be as random
as that one time i found a decapitated head on the side of the road.
rique, you know what i'm talking about.

one more cup of coffee for the road.

question of the day for the masses:
if you could have any heavy accent from any country, group of people, etc. what would it be?

mine of course would be a tie between brad pitts irish accent in snatch (ya like dags?) or that of a pirate (arrrrggg!) couldnt you just see me up there in the front of the classroom talking about mateys and teaching the kids about cells all pirate like. much like that guy in bancroft. awesome.

by the way...i finally found out exactly what crunk means, thanks to tasha. i always thought of it as slang for being intoxicated, but it turns out that is not the case. actually me and melanie are always crunk and we didnt even know it. way to be.

she had only started to pretend.

You give me faith like a child,
but still i want to leave my childish ways behind.

national anthem

i'll write you a song and it wont be hard to sing
it will be a natural anthem, familiar it may seem
it will rally all the workers on strike for better pay
and its chorus will resound and boost morale throughout the day

i'll write you a song and i hope that you wont mind
because all the names and places i have taken from real life
so please dont be upset at this portrait that i paint
it may be a little biased, but at least i spelt your name right


so lets be frank...
has winthrops new school motto become "go greek"
in an attempt to make all of us non-greekers
feel stupid, jealous, and obligated to pay for our friends?
my proposal is to make a shirt
(or bumper sticker, if that is your preference)
that presents my motto of...way to be! with the subtitle:
we may not be greek, but man we're cool.
who wants one?

dreamy is my new favorite word.

nothing better than the smell of formaldehyde on your fingertips,
or a dead cat in the springtime.
a mixed tape is perhaps the greatest thing in the whole world,
aside from ice cream and all things random.
and john cusack (sixteen candles style) is dreamy.

think about that.

did you hear me holler at you to come save me, i'm in danger.

you wanna know what really made my day...

no, it wasnt the getting up at 3:45 this morning to travel to and from florence in order to take a test that i actually spaced out on and probably failed. it wasnt the really cool lunch in thomson, complete with coffee and triple berry crunch cereal that i didnt really like but ate anyways. it wasnt even trying to keep myself awake and alert while hanging my head over an organic book all afternoon like i was soaking it all in and like i actually know what "isobutyl" means. or the fireworks i now hear going off outside my window in the middle of september.

ok, so i guess all of those things really made for a just ok and yawn-filled day.

but what really made it good was the leaves.
as i walked back from dacus i noticed them. the yellow and brown crispy leaves that crunch when you step on them. oh those leaves. how they warm and spread joy throughout my heart. because their existence means only one thing...fall is upon us people. ok, so i'm still in t-shirts and sweating as i walk briskly from class to class, but nevertheless fall (the best season of all the seasons in the land!) is just around the corner. and with this glorious time comes beautiful trees and sunsets. the best holiday of all - thanksgiving (yeah gobble gobble!) and an overall clean and fresh feeling. a feeling that hits you in the face like the wind when you step outside in the morning. wonderful fresh air that fills your lungs and makes you realize that autumn is your reason for waking up in the morning, your reason for carrying out the day.

and thats why i love fall.
plus my birthday is in two weeks.

i think i just briefly fell asleep here at my desk while typing.
thats the cue for bed time. goodnight kids.

call me accident prone.

so i survived my first organic chemistry lab...despite the fact that i forgot my safety glasses, used a tlc pipet instead of a melting point capillary (apparently a big difference), broke the same tlc pipet in half trying to get the crystals out (dont tell dr. hanna about that), and almost burned my finger off on the mel-temp II.

i feel like such a scientist.

p.s. when did weekends become such a burden?

anybody else out there think too much?

i finally had that awkward and uncomfortable moment that i have been dreading for the past couple of weeks now. i was hoping that i would be able to hold off seeing him for a least another month or so, but certainly that was not the case. sure enough, he appeared, almost out of thin air, and the weird silence shortly followed. and then he hugged me. what was that about?

of course he looked the same, except for that blessed bar going through his eyebrow. and he knows i've always wanted one. and still he beat me too it. but then again, heaven knows when i'll actually get up the nerve. i'm not a fan of needles.

anyways, it really really hurt to see him. mainly because, in that weird moment, it finally settled in that it will never be the same between us. and nor should it. for as long as i denied it, we are COMPLETELY different people. yesterday, my good friend terilee came over, and us and ria talked about stuff. we got on the subject of terilee's 19th centruy literature class and how shes having to read the last of the mochians. she expressed that it was just such a hard book to really get into, and generally it was just boring. but she said that she liked one quote from it, something she read just struck her. the narrator was talking about the french and indian war and he said that its ironic that both sides were fighting for land that they were never destined to own. and right when she said it i thought of brad. all the times that he disappointed me and hurt my feelings and that i judged him and made him angry. all the tears, pain, heartache, and evitably the loss of a friendship, was generally pointless. i fought and struggled for something that was never suppose to be mine (the friend OR the boyfriend.) i guess it was just never suppose to work. not that our friendship was a waste of my time. i appreciated what we had. its just that there was a clear turning point, and time when it was obvious that all i needed to do was let go and walk away, but instead i continued to fight. and i've been fighting ever since. and man, i'm weary.

now that i've thought about it, i realize that things have got to change, within me. it seems that at certains time i always seem to think of him - which really isnt healthy in itself - and as i bring up old memories, i immediately start to despise him. its ridiculous really, the way my brain treats the idea of him. if it were up to me i would just not think of him at all, but he's kind of a hard guy to just cut cold turkey. thursday night at house church we broke up into prayer groups and while i was praying with ria and maggie i prayed for the situation with brad. ria started praying that when i think of him, picture his face, the face of Jesus will slip into view instead. that my thoughts would be turned to Jesus instead. and well, i thought that was a pretty neat idea, ria. and i'm gonna try hard to keep that in mind.

well, i guess i just had to get that off my chest. for most, they wont have a clue as to what i'm talking about, but then again i'm sure they dont really care either.

news flash.

my roommates said i have edge.
i'd say its definitely the hair color
and i'll take that as a compliment.

currently:
reading textbooks and cold mountain;
listening to whatever will pass the time
(i need to invest in a new cd);
feeling like i'm addicted to
and i consume way too much caffeine,
and i should look into getting help for that.

p.s. school is offically under way. wish good luck.
p.p.s. birthday countdown is also under way.
only twenty nine more days.